I'm a Fool to Love You

by Cornelius Eady

Some folks will tell you the blues is a woman,
Some type of supernatural creature.
My mother would tell you, if she could,
About her life with my father,
A strange and sometimes cruel gentleman.
She would tell you about the choices
A young black woman faces.
Is falling in love with some man
A deal with the devil
In blue terms, the tongue we use
When we don't want nuance
To get in the way,
When we need to talk straight.
My mother chooses my father
After choosing a man
Who was, as we sing it,
Of no account.
This man made my father look good,
That's how bad it was.
He made my father seem like an island
In the middle of a stormy sea,
He made my father look like a rock.
And is the blues the moment you realize
You exist in a stacked deck,
You look in the mirror at your young face,
The face my sister carries,
And you know it's the only leverage
You've got.
Does this create a hurt that whispers
How you going to do?
Is the blues the moment
You shrug your shoulders
And agree, a girl without money
Is nothing, dust
To be pushed around by any old breeze.
Compared to this,
My father seems, briefly,
To be a fire escape.
This is the way the blues works
Its sorry wonders,
Makes trouble look like
A feather bed,
Makes the wrong man's kisses a healing.

This poem is in an anthology edited by Billy Collins called Poetry 180: A Turning Back to Poetry. I'm reading through it right now and am enjoying it. Collins purposely selected poems that are immediately gratifying and accessible. This poem interests me for several reasons. First is the urgent and introspective voice. The narrator constantly asking: what is the blues? There is probably nothing more heartbreaking than the realization that someone you love existed in a stacked deck. I think we all look upon our parents or grandparents and see the differences between the choices they had and the choices we have today. This poem actually reminds me of some of the themes brought up in that passage from James Joyce's Araby. We are creatures driven by forces that are sometimes beyond our control.

The poem also brings up compelling social issues. For a generation of women, and I would argue not exclusively black women, marrying the wrong man was a pretty devastating thing to do. And even if she didn't marry the wrong man, if something were to happen to that man (e.g. death, abandonment), she too would have to look in a mirror and wonder "if a girl without money is nothing, dust to be pushed around by any old breeze"?

I was struck by some of the comments Eady makes about black culture: "She would tell you about the choices a young black woman faces./ Is falling in love with some man/ A deal with the devil/ In blues terms, the tongue we use/ When we don't want nuance/ To get in the way." This just begs a lot of questions. I wonder if he is purposely vague or if he can't really explain it or doesn't want to. Or would black readers only understand what Eady is trying to say? I don't know how I feel about that.