Stephanie writes:
Hi Hesperus and friends!
I'm writing a piece on men's reproductive rights (or lack thereof) and how it's in the interest of feminism to grant men more reproductive rights. I'm researching the broader men's/fathers' rights movements and texts, such as Alec Baldwin's recent, A Promise to Ourselves and Jocelyn Elise Crowley's Defiant Dads: Fathers' Rights Activists in America, which have shed light on the multiple ways our family law system undermines fatherhood.
I believe that if men know their vote in the all-female government of reproduction doesn’t count for much, their stake in pregnancy (and consequently, parenthood) won’t be as high. This, in the end, hurts far more than it helps women. After all, who shoulders the heavier parental burdens? The pumped up demands on motherhood result, in part, from the short shrift given to men in the nine month preceding childbirth. In procreation (and child-rearing) fatherhood is regarded as mere accessory to the grand gown of motherhood.
Any thoughts on this? Any examples of the ways in which fathers are undermined in our culture?
I'd love to hear some of your thoughts!
Thanks so much for this forum, Casey, for discussing things!
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Hi Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what you mean by "if men know their vote in the all-female government of reproduction doesn't count for much, their stake in pregnancy and consequently parenthood) won't be as high."
Can you elaborate?
From what I understand, the U.S. has one of the strictest laws in enforcing child support from fathers.
Also not sure what you mean by "men's reproductive rights" - did you mean that if I should become pregnant, my boyfriend should have a legal say in whether we keep the baby? I don't think I would be ready for that idea.
But I agree that it is in the interest of feminism that men become more responsible all around - socially, legally, and emotionally.
Two books on fatherhood came out recently - Michael Chabon and Michael Lewis - and sparking a whole genre of "Dad Lit." (the NYT has some interesting reviews of these books). I wonder what these guys would think?
Robin writes:
ReplyDeleteHi Stephanie! You might be interested in syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker’s recent book, SAVE THE MALES. She speaks to the very issues you’re researching in a lively (if controversial) way, from laws that treat fathers as mere sperm donors with scanty parental rights to the pervasiveness of the “doofus dad” in tv and film. Sometimes I find her logic/reasoning to be alarmingly soft, but her examples are colorful and thought-provoking. It might be useful to you.
Casey writes:
ReplyDeleteSteph, sorry to say, but I have woefully little to contribute. I didn't know about Kathleen Parker, Chabon or Lewis's book. I only knew about the Alec Baldwin book.
It's a mine field of a topic for sure. I don't know all of the laws associated with a man's reproductive rights and custodial rights to his children, but I am sure there is merit to the courts being partial to the mother. I'll have to think about this a bit more. Your article sounds fascinating and I'm sure there is inequality there.
I guess in my own personal experience, in the case of divorce, if the two parties keep it amicable a fair sharing of the children can be achieved. But in cases where it wasn't amicable, the fathers seem to have given up their rights all too easily. Sometimes out of the belief that the fight for shared custody would be more damaging for the children. Perhaps they thought the mother would ultimately win out in the courts. Or, unfortunately, in other cases the fathers gave up their parental rights voluntarily and walked away.
Perhaps if you have time, you could expound on what great reproductive rights for fathers would mean.
Great discussion topic! Look how it got everyone talking! It's going to be a great piece.